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Sunday, 15 April 2012

Cushings Disease/Syndrome - thehell my life has become

i've been suffering with a horrid disease for the last 3+ years,  i self medicated for a good year, before i got to the point where my body was revolting  in dangerous ways, blacking out in the kitchen at work,  projectile vomiting while trying to cook dinner for 100+ people, feeling suicidal, fainting a lot, and after a battery of tests. I was diagnosed with Cushings syndrome.
I moved from my idyllic little  island to Ontario, reuniting with my family  and lost friends, and it's been more of a struggle since.
I was always a social butterfly,i spent the first month in toronto afraid to leave harry's house.Went to peterborough  and continued my hermitted ways, unable to go anywhere without my sister or my parents.
It's been over two years and what i know is:
I have Empty sella syndrome (abbreviated ESS) is a disorder that involves the sella turcica, a bony structure at the base of the brain that surrounds and protects the pituitary gland. ESS is a condition that is often discovered during tests for pituitary disorders, when radiological imaging of the pituitary gland reveals a sella turcica that appears to be empty, however this oneis not empty, it's  partially full of fluid and leaks  into my brain, 4rendering my puitatary gland in operable, but they're not too concerned about this.
There are two types of ESS: primary and secondary

Primary ESS happens when a small anatomical defect above the pituitary gland increases pressure in the sella turcica and causes the gland to flatten out along the interior walls of the sella turcica cavity. Primary ESS is associated with obesity and high blood pressure in women. The disorder can be a sign of idiopathic intracranial hypertension

Secondary ESS is the result of the pituitary gland regressing within the cavity after an injury, surgery, or radiation therapy. Individuals with secondary ESS due to destruction of the pituitary gland have symptoms that reflect the loss of pituitary functions, such as the ceasing of menstrual periods, infertility, fatigue, and intolerance to stress and infection.

I also know that there are multiple lesionsin my lower left lung, which have been biopsied and nothing was confirmed or denied,after 8 months the lesions have not grown nor  shrunk(even after they removed mass during the biopsies), so they feel it's  nothing to worry about. over75% of my left lung is badly scarred.I went from being told they'd have to remove part of  it,to it's nothing to worry about.

My left ovary is one large tumour the size of a grapefruit.my right one has6 tumours ranging in size from 5 mm to 5 cm's, i finally received a gyno  referral for August...

There are problems with my kidney and liver, my blood sugar is boarder line diabetic, my GI track is a mess, i can no  longer digest gluten or dairy, raw fruits and veggies, and my food allergy list keep growing.

Sometimes i really  wanna curl up in a ball and die.
Other days something simple as a new nail polish makes my month.
I'm an emotional wreck.
Most of my friends can't stand to be around me because i'm too fucking depressing.
I've been single since i left Mark. and i'm stupid lonely, but don't have the effort to bring anyone into my life.
if you've gotten this far,you're a saint.
please click this link so we can raise  some funds to try and figure  out  this disease,
http://cushingsawareness.korlym.com/
And if you wanna know more...you can ask.

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